Thursday 14 May 2015 by Matt Taylor

Tories accidentally ban themselves under new anti-extremism laws


Tories extremism ban

The incoming Conservative Government is to be immediately disbanded after it was discovered they’re illegal under new laws forbidding ‘extremist groups’.

“Frankly, it’s all a bit embarrassing,” Prime Minister David Cameron told the Today programme.

“We rushed in new powers to ban any groups with extreme views that threaten the fabric of society.”

“It was meant to sort out all these dodgy Muslim johnnies that the last Labour Government flooded the country with, but then it leaked that Gove wants to bring back hanging.”

“We never dreamed we’d be affected, firstly because we’re 99% white and not very beardy, and secondly, because multi-millionaires are above the law anyway.”

Extremism banned

The unfortunate news reached Number 10 after several leading lawyers examined the draft Bill in detail and concluded that summary executions, instituting forced labour for sick and disabled people and abolishing all human rights was “a bit Hitler-y”.

All the lawyers involved were subsequently also banned by Downing Street as ‘enemies of the state’.

Fresh elections are expected to be held within 6 weeks, with pundits predicting a landslide victory for more moderate parties, like UKIP and the EDL.

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