Monday 11 May 2015

Sooty to run for leadership of Labour party


Sooty Labour leadership

Popular children’s hand-puppet Sooty has announced his intention to run for the leadership of the Labour party.

He made his announcement through his close friend and confident Matthew Corbett.

“Sooty and I have spoken about this at great length and he is convinced that as a small, mute, soft hand puppet he will still be a stronger, more credible leader than Ed Miliband.”

If elected, it is possible that the shadow front bench could look radically different with Sooty bringing in his long-standing associates, Sweep and Soo into top jobs.

Jon Cruddas and Harriet Harman are said to be particularly concerned.

Sooty to run for Labour leadership

The announcement has proved popular amongst the party faithful.

“A child’s hand puppet, you say?” said a Labour supporter yesterday.

“Well, anything that makes us less of a laughing-stock can only be a good thing.”

However, the announcement has those inside the Conservative government concerned.

“It is a worry for us,” said an insider from the party who wished to remain nameless.

“I mean, after Ed Miliband, having to cope with the charisma of a silent hand-puppet will be a big step up for David Cameron.”

“I’m not saying we wouldn’t have won the election if the opposition was Sooty, Sweep and Soo, but we certainly might not have found it so easy.”

Sooty will face stiff competition in the leadership election with other candidates; Little and Large, one of the teletubbies and a pile of twigs all more credible leaders of the Labour party than anyone since Tony Blair.

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