Thursday 7 May 2015 by DavyWavy

Ed Miliband convinced there was something important he was supposed to do today


Ed Miliband forgets to vote

Ed Miliband is dead certain he was supposed to do something important today, but he’s damned if he can remember what.

The Labour leader has spent ages wracking his brains to remember whatever it was, because it’s been nagging him all day.

“Do the washing up, clean out the cat litter, re-bag my X-Men comic collection and…oh, God, what was the other thing?”, he is reported to have said at about half past nine.

“Litter, washing, comics, and… damn, I should have written it down.”

Labour insiders report he’s been wandering in and out of rooms looking round in a vain attempt to jog his memory.

He also occasionally goes through his pockets and the papers on his desk to see if there’s anything there he might have forgotten.

Reports suggest that he’s too embarrassed to ask his wife what he’s forgotten in case it’s her birthday or something and she’s cross.

“I expect it’ll come back to me after a good night’s sleep”, he is reported to have said. “I’ll watch the news and then turn in.”

In latest reports, it is claimed Miliband just turned on the news and saw that polls had closed, at which he said a word which his mum didn’t know he knew.

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