Wednesday 6 May 2015

Man insistent his ‘sofa body’ will do just fine as his ‘beach body’

Beach body ready

Man Simon Williams has insisted today that he is ‘beach body ready’ as the body he uses for lying down on the sofa is perfectly equipped to lie on the beach.

Despite being bombarded by advertisements for regimes and supplements designed to make him beach body ready, Williams claimed he could perform his planned beach activities with zero notice.

He told reporters, “If you wanted to fly me somewhere warm, right now, just to see if my body is ready to cope with being on the beach – then the answer is yes, it most certainly could.

“But by all means let us test that hypothesis.

“To be honest, I’m not sure what special training is required to lie around on the beach all day drinking cocktails?

“I guess a bit of stretching might be needed to make sure you get sun cream in all the hard to reach places, but that’s not too difficult – and frankly it’s easy if you deploy the beach-buddy system.”

Williams went on to explain that in all his time on the beach over the years, he has never been keen to do anything other than a lot of lying down.

He concluded, “Am I beach body ready? Yes. I was born ready, literally.”

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