Wednesday 6 May 2015

Man insistent his ‘sofa body’ will do just fine as his ‘beach body’


Beach body ready

Man Simon Williams has insisted today that he is ‘beach body ready’ as the body he uses for lying down on the sofa is perfectly equipped to lie down on the beach.

Despite being bombarded by advertisements for regimes and supplements designed to make him ‘beach body ready’, Williams claimed he could easily perform his planned beach activities with zero notice.

He told reporters, “I assure you my body is beach-ready. There is nothing I would like this body to do on a beach that it could not do today.

“Thought to be clear, If you wanted to fly me somewhere warm, right now, just to see if my body is ready to cope with being on the beach – then the answer is yes, I most certainly would take up that offer.

“So, by all means, let us test that hypothesis and see if my body is indeed ‘beach ready’.

“To be honest, I’m not sure what special training is required to lie around on a sun lounger all day drinking cocktails?

“I guess a bit of stretching might be needed to make sure you get sun cream in all the hard to reach places, but that’s not too difficult – and frankly it’s easy if you deploy the beach-buddy system.”

Williams went on to explain that in all his time on the beach over the years, he has never been keen to do anything other than a lot of lying down.

He concluded, “Am I beach body ready? Yes. I was born ready, literally.”

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