Tuesday 5 May 2015

Richard Littlejohn endorses the Paedophile Babysitters party


Richard littlejohn endorses paedophiles

Daily Mail columnist Richard Littlejohn has this morning endorsed the little-known Paedophile Babysitters party for this week’s general election.

With hundreds of thousands of angry simpletons waiting on Littlejohn’s guidance before choosing who to vote for, the endorsement is likely to see paedophiles everywhere receive a bump in the polls.

Littlejohn wrote, “This country has gone to the dogs, you couldn’t make it up, they’re coming over here and taking our jobs etc and so on.”

“And I think the best way to address this country’s problems is to put a paedophile babysitter in charge.”

“Think about it, everyone already hates them, so there’ll be no pandering to the public on their policies, and you can’t say they’re not committed to young people.”

“At the end of the day, people will criticise me for this stance, but I just love a good paedophile, and some of my best friends are total nonces.”

“No, I’m not telling you which ones because the investigations are a still ongoing apparently.”

“So yes, vote paedophile.”

Littlejohn endorses paedophiles

Voters have reacted with shock, insisting this a new low even for the Daily Mail.

Simon Williams told us, “Asking people to vote for paedophiles in the general election is like asking people to support the Nazi’s before the war, you just wouldn’t do…oh, really?”

Not to be outdone, Sun columnist Katie Hopkins told reporters, “Richard Littlejohn endorsed who? And how many people are talking about it?”

“Right, well, right, ok then, in that case I will endorse…the Rape is Fun party.”

“And you can put it on the front page.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Daily Mail reader)

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