Tuesday 5 May 2015

Only three more days until we can go back to ignoring public, politicians tell themselves


Election 2015

Professional politicians across the country have dragged themselves out of bed this morning by telling themselves it’s just three more days until they can go back to ignoring the public.

After weeks of gruelling smiling and handshaking, many are longing for the days at the Houses of Parliament where they could literally go months without having to speak to a member of the public.

As one politician told us, “I’ve lost count of the conversations I’ve had with people who want to have a moan about things like their neighbour’s fence, how often the bins are collected and whether that woman at number 27 is an immigrant.”

“There are only so many times you can say ‘My party sees this as a major issues, and you can rest assured that a vote for us on May 7th is a vote to look into that woman at number 27’.”

“Growing up wanting to be a politician, no-one ever tells you about all the ‘meeting the public’ stuff, it’s just the good stuff like expense accounts, second houses and cushy directorships.”

“So for now I’ll just keep smiling and repeating the mantra in my head ‘three more days, three more days’.”

“Thank god it’s only once every five years.”

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