Tuesday 5 May 2015 by Neil Tollfree

‘No Royal babies under a Labour government’ claims David Cameron


Royal Babies under a conservative government

David Cameron has claimed a Tory Government provides the best environment for a Royal baby.

“You only have to look at the evidence,” he told voters yesterday.

“Prince George and Princess Charlotte? Born under a Tory Government. Princes William and Harry? Tory Government.”

“Based on that cold, hard, scientific evidence, I think it’s clear that if you vote Tory, you’ll get bloody loads of Royal babies.”

Labour were quick to refute the claims.

“What about Prince Edward?” said Ed Miliband.

“Two royal babies from him, regardless of what the rumours might have said, and both under a Labour Government.”

Nick Clegg also weighed in.

“Let’s not forget that this was a Tory/Lib Dem coalition, so I don’t think all the credit for these Royal babies should go to the David Cameron.

“Without the Lib-dems to reign in the Tories, who’s to say whether we’d have had any Royal babies at all? You just don’t know.”

The new Royal baby seems to have provided a small economic feel-good bounce, with sales of flags, tea-towels and egg-cups to idiots quadrupling over the weekend.

Should the Tories remain in Government, they are expected to rent the new Royal baby to China to help pay off the deficit.

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