Tuesday 5 May 2015

New Top Gear line-up seemingly bereft of arseholes, complain fans


Top Gear line-up

The proposed new Top Gear line-up is apparently devoid of pricks, much to the consternation of hardcore Top Gear fans.

With a leaked document appearing to show that the 23rd series of Top Gear will be presented by Philip Glenister, Jodie Kidd and Guy Martin, fans are worried the show might ultimately become ‘likeable’.

Top Gear fan Simon Williams, “If I wanted to watch a show about cars presented by a bunch of affable television celebrities then I’d go and watch…well, there isn’t a show like that because it’s a RUBBISH idea!”

“I watched the Top Gear in the hope Jeremy would say something controversial, someone would be mean to James May, or Richard Hammond would nearly kill himself.”

“Without the possibility of those things happening, what’s the point of it all?”

“Unless of course Glenister is going to play the character of ‘Jeremy Clarkson’?”

“I haven’t seen much of his stuff, but I think he could be quite good as a brash loudmouth whose world view belongs in the seventies.”

New Top Gear line-up

The BBC has been quick to defend the rumoured new presenting line-up.

A BBC spokesperson told us, “The new line-up, though still unofficial, is an important step in changing the public perception that Top Gear is a show about toys for pricks, presented by pricks, and, well, watched by pricks.”

“Give it a go, you might actually like it.”

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