Tuesday 5 May 2015 by DavyWavy

Ed Miliband pledges to pledge pledges in new pledge pledge


miliband pledge

Labour leader has pledged a new raft of pledges in a new pledge pledge today.

He pledged that the pledged pledges would be brought in within 100 days of the election.

The new pledges will include a pledge to introduce extra new pledges just as soon as the last lot have been forgotten.

He went on to pledge the pledges would be tattooed onto a shaved badger’s arse which he would look at every day.

Miliband went on to pledge funding for a giant space laser which would be used to write his pledges on the moon so he could see them at night too.

“Clearly you or I can’t be expected to remember my pledges so I pledge to write them down,” he said.

“And if it looks like I might forget I’ll have myself strapped down with my eyes wired open and a list of pledges played to me over and again.”

When asked, Miliband rejected suggestions that he was starting to look a bit desperate and needy, and pledged more pledges designed to counteract that impression.

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