Thursday 30 April 2015

English and Scottish Sun newspapers urged to ‘take it outside’


Sun and Scottish Sun

After taking diametrically opposite views of the SNP, The Sun and The Scottish Sun have been urged to take it outside and settle it like the Murdoch puppets they are.

The Sun is today endorsing the Conservatives to stop the SNP running the country, whilst the Scottish Sun endorses the SNP in the hope they can help run the country.

Politic and media analyst Simon Williams told, “I suppose from the outside it looks confusing if you’re the sort of moron who decides who to vote for based on what Rupert Murdoch tells you.”

“The two newspapers taking different views is only surprising if you think for one moment that the people writing this stuff believe a word of it, and aren’t just doing as they’re told.”

“See, the mistake you’ve made is believing that anything on those pages is designed to do anything other than line the pockets of Rupert Murdoch.”

“It’s a bit like Christians and their WWJD mantra, I always think it’s useful to ask yourself What Would Rupert Murdoch Want Me To Do – then do the exact opposite.”

Sun and Scottish Sun

Voter Shane Matthews said the only way to settle the disagreement between the newspapers was with a fight.

He told us “I imagine it will be a bit like a Punch and Judy show, except not in box on the street, but in some underground lair, probably beneath a volcano.”

“With the loser fed to Murdoch’s sharks.”

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