Tuesday 28 April 2015

Ed Miliband seeks stand-up advice from Russell Brand


Miliband seeks help from Brand

Ed Miliband has sought advice from Russell Brand as he looks to develop a ‘tight five’ he can reliably use on the stand-up circuit.

Miliband has been struggling with nerves, and confidence in his routine took a hammering at a recent gong show where he got no further than a gag about David Cameron’s ‘mandate’ being called George Osborne.

One audience member told us, “It’s not that a joke playing on the different between ‘political mandate’ and ‘a date who is a man’ isn’t funny in itself – it’s just that his stage presence means it was delivered with all the charisma of a pallbearer.”

“I can see why he’d need help, I mean some of the material at his disposal is frankly gold, but he’s just not getting the best of out it.”

“Personally I’d have asked him to seek the advice of Stewart Lee, as I think he’d be better as a laid back deadpan comic reading notes off his hands than a prancing logophile like Brand.”

Miliband meets Brand

Labour strategists have said that Miliband will now start growing his hair out and opening his shirt to the waist during election campaign visits.

As one explained, “Imagine Ed Miliband with Russell Brand’s raw sexual energy on stage. Do it. Seriously. Do it.”

“Look, you have to do it or this won’t work.”

“See?”

Meanwhile Brand has denied he is helping Miliband craft jokes for his stand-up routine, insisting the meetings were ‘purely sexual’.

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