Monday 27 April 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Paula Radcliffe ‘an inspiration’ to all who have shat themselves at work


Paula Radcliffe

Tributes have been flooding in/plopping out for the world record-setting marathon runner Paula Radcliffe, who remains more famous for taking a dump on a public highway.

Radcliffe has been hailed as a beacon of hope for all of those who have committed a trouser-browner while in the course of their daily occupation and been forced to carry on with their day regardless.

“It’s really quite heartwarming” said Colin Werrington, an Office manager from Shrewsbury.

“I remember following through while in a crowded lift one morning. At first I was mortified, but then I remembered Paula’s steely determination to finish a 26 mile run having dropped a deuce on national television.”

“I remember thinking ‘if Paula can get through that, then I can get through this elevator ride, even if it’s running down my leg’.”

“I think the other people in the elevator were similarly inspired, as it was the talk of the office by that afternoon.”

Paula Radcliffe inspiration

It is estimated that around 1,000 Britons crap themselves at work everyday; though this figure is probably higher due to the overwhelming desire of most people to never admit to that sort of thing under any circumstances.

“Seriously, nobody can ever know,” said Sarah Kennedy, who asked not to be named.

“It’s fine for Paula, she’s an internationally respected athlete and I’m sure she doesn’t have to deal with the constant judgment of Laura in accounting.”

Paula joins former England centre-forward Gary Lineker in the “Poo-Pants Hall of Fame”.

“The name needs work” admitted Roger Simpson, Chairman of the Poo-Pants Hall of Fame.

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