Monday 27 April 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Labour offer referendum on whether to offer referendum


LAbour EU referendum

There were tense scenes yesterday as Labour announced plans to offer a referendum on whether the UK should offer its residents a referendum on staying in the EU.

“Look, I don’t support a referendum,” said Ed Miliband.

“But I do think that the British people deserve to have their say on whether or not we hold a referendum on Europe, and as such Labour will be the only party after the election who will offer a referendum on having a referendum.”

The Liberal Democrats have immediately responding by offering to hold a referendum on holding a referendum on holding a referendum on Europe.

“I make a cast-iron promise that if the Liberal Democrats are in Government after the election, we will insist that there will be a referendum on a referendum on a referendum on Europe,” said Nick Clegg.

“So that definitely won’t happen,” noted one voter.

EU referendum

Events escalated quickly as the Greens offered a referendum on a referendum on a referendum on a referendum on Europe, the SNP promised a referendum on a referendum on a referendum on a referendum on a referendum on Europe, and Nigel Farage said that the other parties could ‘stick their referendums up their arse,’ and went on to call all Europeans ‘shitters’ and they should go back ‘to living up the trees where they belong’.

It is understood he had been drinking heavily.

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