Wednesday 22 April 2015

Successful Earth Day campaign delays inevitable global catastrophe, by a day


Earth Day

The successful ‘Earth Day’ campaign has led experts to predict that it has delayed an inevitable global environmental catastrophe, by a day.

The Earth Day campaign, which aims to stifle man’s selfish destruction of the planet – for a day – culminated in hundreds of homes switching off their lights and doing a bit more recycling for one full day.

“This is great news for the planet,” explained Earth Day spokesperson, Simon Williams.

“That extra day at the end of the planet’s life could prove vital.

“Can you imagine if, right at the end, everyone died when we were just one day away from discovering how to reverse man’s harmful effects on the planet?

“Well thanks to today’s success, that’s a scenario we no longer have to worry about.  Go Team Earth!”

Opponents of the program claim it requires significant effort, for little reward.

“What’s the point of an extra day for the Earth right at the end?” said Londoner Dave Smith, 42.

“By that point we’ll probably all be surrounded by fire, brimstone and smoke in some post-apocalyptic dystopian nightmare. It’s not like we will actually get to enjoy it.

“Surely an extra day in the middle of next year would have been a more attractive target for the Earth Day campaigners?”

“Maybe a day after one of the May bank holidays?

“Then I’m sure the organisers could get more people to agree to think ‘green’ for a day if they knew they’d get an extra bank holiday next year.

“Personally I’d give them four or five.”

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