Tuesday 21 April 2015

Giraffe hunter insists all mercy killings should be completed using bow and arrow


Giraffe Hunter

A hunter photographed posing with the giraffe she had just killed has said that all mercy killings should be undertaken with a high-velocity bow and arrow.

Rebecca Francis, an American who hosts TV show Eye of the Hunter, defended her decision to kill the Giraffe, insisting it was near the end of its life and that as far as she was aware all mercy killings end with a series of grinning selfies next to the corpse.

She told reporters, “Bow and arrow to the face is definitely the most merciful way to end a life – which you can see by the huge order of titanium tipped arrows held in stock by the Dignitas Clinic in Switzerland.”

“Why would anyone choose to have some drugs gently pumped into their arm, when they could be shot through the eye by someone who wants to put their head on the mantlepiece?”

“There’s really no question that my approach to mercy killing is better.”

Giraffe hunter

When presented with the fact that mercy killings usually have the implicit consent of the person being killed, Francis declared she is able to speak with the animals and death at her hand is what they wanted.

She told us, “I speak Giraffe, and that giraffe clearly said, ‘Kill me now, but make it slow, painful, and make sure you get my good side in post-shoot selfies’.”

“What other option did I have?”

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