Monday 20 April 2015

Oasis to reform after Noel Gallagher learns elusive fourth chord


Oasis to reform

Oasis are to reform after Noel Gallagher confirmed he has taken the time needed to master an elusive fourth chord.

Noel left the band citing abuse from his brother Liam which had made his position as the band’s creative driving force no longer tenable

Noel said, “I was sad to leave the bad, sure, but it has been really nice to spending a few years trying to perfect a fourth chord.”

“I also got to work on some solo material once I nailed it, and I’m now a 33% better guitarist for it.”

Sibling rivalry

The war of words between the brothers is apparently over, despite Liam claiming to have auditioned other lead guitarists and that one of them already knows five chords, including a fabled ‘minor’ one.

“That’s typical of Liam, trying to get one over on me and ignoring the music,” continued Noel.

“But he’s the idiot, because everyone knows you can’t put five chords into one album, it just doesn’t fit.”

However Liam struck a conciliatory tone at the news of Oasis reforming, telling reporters, “Noel’s fourth chord will make Oasis even better.”

“There is a whole world of chord structures out there for us to discover, apparently there are books on it and everything.”

“I can even put my microphone stand at the right height now, as Noel had been raising it a few inches before every gig for years.”

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