Tuesday 14 April 2015 by Neil Tollfree

UKIP outrage as asteroid named after Pakistani immigrant


UKIP immigrant asteroid

UKIP has hit out at NASA yesterday after it named a newly discovered asteroid after Pakistani human rights campaigner and UK immigrant – Malala Yousafzai.

“I’ve nothing against Ms Yousafzai personally,” claimed Nigel Farage.

“But the fact is, she is an immigrant. This asteroid could have been named after a genuinely indigenous British person like Sid Little, Kylie Minogue or Enoch Powell.”

NASA has chosen to honour Malala for her incredible defiance of extremists who shot her in the head for going to school.

“I just think it sets a dangerous precedent,” said Mr Farage.

“They wouldn’t name an asteroid after an immigrant in America, would they?”

“Except, I suppose they’re all immigrants, although, does it still count if they’ve been there for loads and loads of years, because otherwise I’d have to be on the side of Red Indians, and they’re bastards.”

“Have you seen ‘The Searchers?’ Goodness, bigotry can be confusing.”

However a senior Ukip source added, “You’re twisting Nigel’s words, an immigrant’s name for an asteroid is perfectly appropriate, because you wouldn’t want either of them landing in your backyard.”

Malala asteroid

It seems that Mr Farage’s complaints have struck a chord with supports.

“I suppose it is a bit off if you think about it,” said unemployed dung scraper and UKIP supporter Simon Williams.

“I mean she comes over here, and we give her, like, all books and everything and she goes to one of our schools and she gets an asteroid.”

“My kids ain’t got an asteroid or books, it’s not on.”

Nigel Farage is understood to have since purchased a novelty ‘name your own asteroid’ kit, and named an asteroid ‘Nigel the brilliant asteroid’.

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