Thursday 9 April 2015 by DavyWavy

Greece recruiting chuggers to help pay their debts


Greek Chuggers

The streets of cities across Europe are to be inundated by chuggers asking people to pledge £2 a week to help Greece pay its debts.

The Greek government is reported to have recruited thousands of arts and humanities graduates on a commission-only basis to harass passers-by as a part of their long-term economic recovery plan.

Chuggers will be equipped with pictures of Greek children looking very sad, a puppy which hasn’t had any dinner, and a rainbow badly photoshopped onto the Acropolis to help them emotionally blackmail people into coughing up.

The money is needed to help the Greek government pursue important policies like anti-austerity, paying Greek people higher benefits and wages, and avoiding going bankrupt due to the first two policies.

“We’re very optimistic about this new initiative”, Prime Minister Tsipras told reporters.

“We only have to sign up a hundred and sixty-six million people to the scheme by the end of April to meet our next repayment.”

“Compared to some of the other proposals we’ve come out with that’s actually a very realistic objective.”

Tsipras was speaking after returning from Russia where he had gone to ask Vladimir Putin to set up a standing order for $200 million a month, but Putin turned the television down and lay on the floor of the Kremlin until he was gone.

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