Wednesday 8 April 2015

Sharp rise in pensioners driving inappropriate sports cars


Pension reforms

New pension reforms allowing people access to their pension savings from the age of 55 has seen a large rise in old people in inappropriate sports cars.

Starting on bank holiday monday those savers aged 55 and over could access the money in their pension funds to spend however they see fit.

59 year-old Simon Williams told us, “I thought long and hard about it, and I realised I wanted a red convertible more than I wanted financial security in the year 2030.”

“Sure, I could be living on state handouts by then, but look at this lovely car – I could get loads of fun out of this whilst I’m just about still young enough to enjoy it.”

“This new policy is perfect for people like me who have regretted putting so much money away for a rainy day when I could have been spending it on things that were much more fun.”

“No, I won’t be leaving my grandkids anything. Obviously.”

Pension reform

Car sales showroom workers have reported a ten-fold rise in customers who can barely walk coming through the door since Monday’s change to the rules.

Car salesman Mike Bannister told us, “Yes, I’ve sold a few more soft tops than normal, it’s been a great week so far, why do you ask?”

“To be honest, I just thought there had been a big lottery syndicate win at the local old people’s home.”

“Long may it continue.”

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