Thursday 2 April 2015 by DavyWavy

Falklands oil strike raises Tory pre-election hopes of Argentinian invasion


Falklands Oil

After oil was discovered in an offshore area just north of the Falkland islands, some inside the Tory party are quietly wondering if Argentina would consider having another go in the next month.

Giving a belligerent tinpot dictatorship a slap would be a ‘clincher’ with an election only weeks away, Conservative party strategists believe.

A good old war has been credited with helping Margaret Thatcher in 1982 and Tony Blair in 2002, and the government thinks ‘third time lucky’ is the way to go.

“We’re pretending to withdraw all our troops and saying that the islands and all that lovely, lovely oil are just defended by penguins. You hear that, Argentina? PENGUINS”, said an MoD spokesman.

“Fingers crossed, eh?”

Tony Blair is reported to have counselled an immediate invasion of the Falklands instead, seeing as not only do they have the oil but it’ll be ‘lots easier’.

However, international observers think another invasion unlikely as President Christina Kirchner has adopted progressive and popular socialist policies which have left Argentina effectively bankrupt.

“The trouble is”, we were told, “She has run out of other people’s money.”

“Now who was it said that would happen?”

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