Tuesday 31 March 2015

Moron interviews inconsequence


Clegg and Joey Essex

A complete moron has today interviewed a complete inconsequence, according to emerging reports.

Television’s Joey Essex spoke to House of Parliament’s Nick Clegg to ask questions he didn’t understand of a man no-one wants to hear from.

Essex told reporters, “I was really happy to speak to Nick, he seems really nice, especially when I asked all things written down on the cards for me.”

“He was really patient whilst I worked out words like election – which sounds like erection, ha! – and democracy, which is apparently like letting people in the club choose what music you play.”

“No, I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about when he said some words back to my words.”

“Look how white my teeth are.”

Nick Clegg in turn spoke effusively about his meeting with Joey Essex, and how he hoped to secure the votes of many like him.

“Voting Lib Dem is reem,” he told bemused reporters.

“And Cameron, Miliband and Farage are well jel that I got this interview.”

Nick Clegg talks to Joey Essex

The move is seen as important for the Liberal Democrats in securing the moron vote, a demographic experts insist is the only one that will now be willing to vote for the Liberal Democrats.

As one analyst explains, “The lower your IQ falls, the greater the chance there is of voting Lib Dem.  Of course, if it falls below that of a potato you’ll probably vote UKIP.”

A spokesperson for the Lib Dems said, “We’re focussing on the pretty colour of our logo and how we are a friend to the everyday simpleton.”

“You never know, it might work?”

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