Thursday 26 March 2015

Zayn Malik leaving One Direction foretold by Nostradamus


Nostradamus predicted Zayn Malik

An ancient manuscript from Nostradamus predicted Zayn Malik leaving One Direction nearly 500 years before he was even born.

In Nostradamus’ 1555 manuscript Les Propheties, the French apothecary refers a “the dark-haired one leaving the all-conquering five piece”.

For years experts insisted this was a failed prediction that Paul McCartney would leave the Beatles, but now those who study Nostradamus say his prediction has come true.

Expert in terribly vague predictions Simon Williams told us, “Clearly the influence of One Direction was sufficient to transcend time and space.”

“Unfortunately he does go on to predict the dark-haired one will rise up and conquer us all – but I’ve been saying for years that this actually refers to Simon Cowell.”

“Mainly because an older translation referred to the dark-haired one having ‘trousers to his chest’.”

Nostradamus One Direction prediction

One Direction fans have been left distraught at Zayn’s resignation from the band, and have taken no comfort in a 500 year-old Frenchman knowing it was going to happen.

“Why didn’t he tweet about it so I could have prepared myself!” screamed one fan.

“I hate him! Why couldn’t he predict Union J splitting up instead!” cried another.

After the seemingly unerring accuracy of Nostradamus’ latest prediction, some sceptics have decided to take another look at his other prophecies.

As one explained, “I’ll be honest, I’ve always thought Nostradamus prophecies were a load of old nonsense, but now I’m starting to get a bit worried – particularly about his prediction of the rise to power of the purple and yellow racist.”

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