Wednesday 25 March 2015

Katie Hopkins somehow fails to make list of Twitter’s happiest celebs


Katie Hopkins fails to make list of happy Twitter celebs

Professional moron-baiter Katie Hopkins has surprisingly failed to make a list of the happiest celebs on Twitter.

After a thorough analysis of the Happiest Celebrity Tweeters, Hopkins was left in last place amongst Twitter users that most people had ‘sort of ‘ heard of.

An detailed review of her Twitter feed showed a high propensity for words that have little or no happy connotations whatsoever, such as ‘angry’ ‘fat’ ‘immigrants’ ‘cancer’ ‘gypsies’ and ‘sodding BBC’.

As one researcher explained, “Reading her twitter timeline can instantly downgrade the average reader’s mood from ‘happy’, to ‘positively melancholic’.”

“If you continue reading below the fold you’ll quickly move on to ‘angry’ and ‘rage’. It really is best not to go there at all.”

“You know the effect that playing with young puppies can have on the average person’s mood? Yes, well, following Katie Hopkins on Twitter has the exact opposite effect.”

Others Twittering celebrities who failed to make the list included:

Kanye West – The self-labelled ‘icon’ left people feeling miserable with repeated references to himself in the third person and his insistence on looking positively glum in absolutely every photo he shares.

Jaden Smith – The young american actor is well-known for his baffling tweets, many of which read like they were written by a philosophy student with an IQ of about 50. Happy they most definitely are not.

Shia LeBeouf – From angrily confronting anyone who questioned his artistic integrigy, to insisting “I’m not famous any more!” LeBeoufs Twitter timeline is enough to reduce anyone to tears – and that’s before you actually watch one of his movies.

Danny Dyer – Danny has become popular on Twitter for getting angry at the ducks in his local park, and not being able to make his Christmas tree manly enough.  Happy he ain’t.

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