Friday 20 March 2015 by DavyWavy

Politicians accused of pandering to people who vote


MPs pandering to voters

Politicians of all political parties have been accused of ‘pandering’ to people who actually get off their arses and vote, we can reveal.

The damning accusation suggests that people who say things like ‘I’m not going to vote, they’re all the same anyway’ are of no interest whatsoever to people who would like to form a government.

People who uses phrases like ‘LibLabCon’ and ‘westminster consensus’ on the Internet are also highly unlikely to be of more interest than actual voters, it is claimed.

Furthermore, it is understood that public funds are diverted to support projects and initiatives which ‘voters’ are likely to support, leaving lazy windbags out in the cold.

“This is an outrage”, said a non-voter who asked to remain anonymous.

“How dare politicians only listen to people who might be willing to help them gain power?”

“I’m being excluded from the political process just because I don’t bother getting involved in the political process. That just not fair.”

“They’re all the same anyway”, he added, contrary to actual evidence.

The Electoral commission has today stressed that people who don’t vote actually have no influence over anything, no matter how much they bitch about it later.

“If you’re that determined not to influence anything you could always just vote Green or something. It’s pretty much the same thing”, said a spokesman.

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