Friday 13 March 2015 by Lucas Wilde

God understandably nervous to meet Terry Pratchett


Terry Pratchett meets Gods

God has expressed the fact that he was ‘very shaky’ today when he met creative genius Terry Pratchett for the first time.

Speaking via an Angel so as not to blow up our minds, God said “You can probably understand where I’m coming from.”

“This man inspired me to create the Earth after I read the creative masterpiece that is the Discworld series. They are the best books ever written, and I include my own in that.”

“I’m kind of nervous to ask him what he thought of the world I created – I realise it’s a bit dull compared to his.”

“You’re probably wondering how I read Terry’s books millions of years before he was born. Well, I am God, don’t forget.”

“I’ve seen everything that has come and everything that is to come. So I’ve read pretty much everything you people have written, and nothing beats Pratchett for sheer force of imagination.”

“Incidentally, don’t bother reading Dan Brown’s next book. Or any of his other books, for that matter.”

God meets Pratchett

Terry Pratchett’s death has provoked sadness amongst authors, book-lovers, and anyone who has ever used their imagination to dream of a world more colourful and interesting than our own.

Sci-Fi and fantasy author, Ruth Wheeler, said “It’s almost pointless writing fantasy at all these days, Pratchett made up almost all of the good stuff ages ago.”

“We’ll give it a bash, but don’t expect us to even get close.”

“We’re all very jealous of God right now.”

God and Pratchett first met at the pearly gates, God having put on his best suit and taken the Grim Reaper along, who was dying to shake Pratchett’s hand.

“HE MADE ME POPULAR AGAIN,” said Death personified, “HE MADE ME SEEM ALMOST HUMAN, A LIKEABLE CHARACTER.”

“THAT BIT WHERE HE HAD ME DRESS AS FATHER CHRISTMAS FOR A CHILDREN’S PARTY? SUBLIME.”

“HE’S A TRUE GENIUS AND I CAN’T WAIT TO THANK HIM FOR SOME TERRIFIC PR WORK ON MY PART.”

Terry Pratchett received a standing ovation from heaven’s residents when he entered the gates of heaven, and applause so loud as to provoke an enormous thunderstorm back on earth.

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