Tuesday 10 March 2015

First Gold Apple Watch owner set to become most heavily-mocked human in history


Gold apple watch

Spending £6,000 on a Gold Apple Watch can secure your place in the history books as the most heavily mocked individual in all of human civilisation, according to sources this morning.

As the gold version of the Apple Watch was revealed at a price of $10,000, everyone everywhere began looking out for the sort of prick that would actually spend that sort of money on the gadget.

Tech expert Simon Williams told us, “There are people who will happily spend a few hundred quid for a smart watch – I’m probably one of them – but to pay six-grand for something that will be completely obsolete in eighteen months? That is madness.”

“It would be like being the proud owner of a solid-gold betamax.”

“The fact they are wearing a gold Apple Watch will be hugely amusing to absolutely everyone around them the first time they wear it in public.”

“It will be a bit like that dream where you go to school then realise you don’t have any pants on – except the pants cost you six-grand and the laughing is very real and all over social media in minutes.”

Gold Apple Watch

As speculation begins to grow as to who will be the first to wear the Gold Apple Watch, Williams spoke of his own prediction.

He said, “I’ll be honest, my money is on Kanye.”

“A gold Apple Watch has got Kanye written all over it. Though maybe he’ll pay a bit extra to actually have Kanye written all over it.”

“And to change all of the app icons to pictures of Kanye.”

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