Tuesday 10 March 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Confusion at naming ceremony sees new super-cruiser named ‘Giant Floating Shit Pot’


Britannia cruise liner

The Queen has named the new P&O Super-cruiser ‘Giant Floating Shit Pot’ instead of ‘Britannia’ after today’s ceremony went embarrassingly wrong.

“I’m afraid it didn’t really go according to plan,” said P&O spokesperson.

“The Queen had the bottle of champagne ready to break against the hull when her husband, the Duke of Edinburgh, mentioned that if they had an outbreak of diarrhoea it would become a ‘giant floating shit pot’.”

“Her Majesty exclaimed ‘Giant Floating Shit Pot ‘ in surprise and accidentally let the bottle go.”

“As such, the largest British cruise liner and pride of the P&O fleet will forever be known as ‘Giant Floating Shit Pot’”

The HMS ‘Giant Floating Shit Pot,’ can hold 3600 passengers and 1500 crew and will be based in Southampton.

The name doesn’t appear to have put customers off, with cruise fan Simon Williams looking forward to getting on board.

“I’ve got four weeks cruising round the Bahamas on the HMS ‘Giant Floating Shit Pot,’ and I can’t wait,” he said.

It’s is not the first time the Queen has misnamed a ship as a result of her husband as evidenced by the HMS ‘Stop staring at her chest,’ the HMS ‘That stinks, Philip,’ and the HMS ‘Please stop being a racist’.

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