Wednesday 4 March 2015

Incomes back to ‘pre-iPhone’ levels


iphones

Average household incomes in the UK have returned to levels not seen since before iPhones were a thing.

The Institute of Fiscal Studies (IFS) said that people were now earning the equivalent of what they earned before they had ever experienced an ‘in-app purchase’.

A spokesperson for the IFS told us, “Even though the money coming into their accounts might have the same value it did eight years ago, the things they spend it on most definitely do not.”

“£500 in 2007 could have been spent on a wide range of goods and services to improve your life, whereas today it will inevitably be spent on an entry-level iPhone that will merely suck you dry, financially speaking.”

“It will make you an insular loner, focussed only on the tiny shiny screen in front of you, instead the real-world happening around you.”

“You’ll buy music and videos, and spend a fortune skipping levels in games so addictive you would inject them between your toes if you could.”

“So yes, things are just brilliant once again, obviously.”

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