Monday 2 March 2015

We have some of our best ideas whilst smoking crack, insist right-wing economists


Crack Pipe economist Tory adviser

After one of George Osborne’s economic advisers was caught on camera smoking crack, economists everywhere have said you shouldn’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

Executive Chairman of the Centre for Economics and Business Research (Cebr) Douglas McWilliams, 63, was reportedly seen smoking the Class A drug last weekend during a visit to a crack house in central London.

McWilliams told reporters, “First of all, I would dispute that 11 Downing Street is technically a ‘crack house’.”

“And second of all, how can you say it’s bad for you if you’ve never tried it, eh?”

“The feeling of having your brain melt away makes the process of economic policy creation much more interesting.”

“Do you think a sober mind could have come up with someone on a zero hour contract counting as being ‘in work’?”

“That’s the sort of creative thinking you just don’t get without smoking crack.”

Crack ain’t whack

However not all right-wing economists are keen to be labelled crack users.

Economist and think-tank member Simon Williams told us, “Look, I got into economics to make the world a better place, to use my knowledge of economic principles to improve the lives of people everywhere.”

“And yet here I am twenty years later basically telling George Osborne the best way to make rich people richer.”

“I’m sorry, but smoking crack is the only way I can sleep at night.”

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