Thursday 26 February 2015

UKIP in pledge to ban ‘ethnic’ emojis


UKIP to ban ethnic emojis

UKIP have promised that victory in the general election will see them outlaw the recently introduced ethnic emojis in Apple’s ecosystem.

In a hastily redrafted manifesto, leader Nigel Farage called the move to include ethnic minorities in the emoji catalogue a “ridiculous example of political correctness and an attack on our traditional British values.”

Technology experts said the new emojis will feature in OSX version 10.10.3, and should be angering UKIP-supporting Mac owners within weeks.

Programmer Simon Williams told us, “What they’ve done is change something most people were used to using, in order to make it more open and inclusive for people who don’t have white skin – and we know how much UKIP loves that sort of thing.”

A UKIP spokesperson said that giving the emojis faces of various shades of brown costs money, and that ultimately it is the consumer who will be paying for this ‘complete madness’.

They told us, “A UKIP government would put a stop to this pandering to brown people, no matter what shade they might be.

“Everyone knows that the indigenous British people are Simpsons yellow, and so emojis should all stay that way.

“We’ve had a look, and apparently you can’t forcibly repatriate an emoji, so banning them is our only plan.”

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