Thursday 26 February 2015 by Alex Webster

Isis, ancient Egyptian goddess, to undergo ‘rebranding exercise’


ISIS rebanding

Egyptian deity ‘Isis’ is to change her name as part of a rebranding exercise, according to a top PR firm today.

Isis, the goddess of motherhood and wisdom was interviewed in the British Museum, London, late yesterday afternoon.

She told reporters, “I awoke from a 1800 year slumber in the east wing of the museum.”

“This was caused by a freak accident involving a night porter, a clay tablet and some snake’s blood.”

“Anyway, upon reading the newspapyrus I was horrified to find that fanatics from some upstart new religion had named their organisation after me.”

“Well, technically it’s an acronym but no one seems to know what it stands for.”

Isis rebranding

Simon Williams, head of re-branding at Heckler & Koch Public Relations added, “My client needs to reinvent herself for the current millennium, as well as de-tox and de-politicise her public image.”

“We will be deploying powerful strategies in accordance with the zeitgeist to turn her into the Goddess of Now, instead of the dusty, irrelevant avatar she was before.”

Ms. Isis is said to be enjoying 2015 so far.

She concluded, “I don’t really get all these new religions, and Egypt isn’t in a much better state than I left it.”

“But looking at this Internet of yours it seems that people are still worshipping cats. Which is good.”

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