Monday 23 February 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Legendary Vanity Fair Oscars party runs out of crisps


Oscars party

There was embarrassment at Vanity Fair last night when it was revealed that they ran out of crisps at their legendary post-Oscars party.

“It was a bit crap,” said Oscar winner Eddie Redmayne.

“It had only been going for an hour or so and there was literally no crisps anywhere, just these empty paper bowls on all the tables.”

“I hope someone gets fired for this.”

The Vanity Fair party is the only place to be seen for the great and the good of the Hollywood set.

“Oh my God, it’s, like, a magical event. It’s, like, so glamourous,” said Hollywood correspondent Rebecca Coleman.

“Emilio Estevez always brings a mix-tape. Usually eighties stuff. Oh my God, that guy loves Rick Astley.”

“And there’s the bathroom, and they just fill the bath with ice and put in loads of cans of Carling Black Label, no Own-brand stuff.”

“And, of course, the crisps; Hula-hoops, Pringles, Monster Munch.”

“For them to run out is, like, a major embarrassment.”

Vanity Fair Oscars party

Julianne Moore won Best Actress for ‘Still Alice’.

“Goddamn pussy-ass bitches screw up my triumphant night?” She said before kicking a Vanity Fair representative in the backside.

“When Meryl Streep wins they just get someone following her around all night with her own bowl of Mini Chedders. The fuckers.”

It is thought that this is the most embarrassing post Oscar’s event since Elton John ordered too much Tuaca for his party and Hugh Jackman punched James Franco for getting off with Anne Hathaway before being sick on his shoes.

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