Thursday 19 February 2015 by DavyWavy

EU asks Russia if it would like to invade Greece instead


Putin offered Greece

With negotiations on a greek bailout stalled again, a frustrated EU has asked Vladimir Putin if he’d be willing to take Greece off their hands.

It is hoped that Russia, known to be resentful at being rebuffed in the Ukraine, will be willing to accept Greece as a runner-up prize.

“Greece has a lot to recommend it to the ambitious despot”, said an EU spokesman.

“Lovely beaches, beautiful weather, a fractious populace ripe for repressing. Just the sort of thing we know Putin is looking for.”

“Plus it’s been invaded by the British and Germans in the past, so it’s quite like the Crimea in that respect.”

Russian invasion

However, the Greeks are less keen on this suggestion, due to Russia being even more skint than Europe.

“You’d think, looking at european economies, that it wouldn’t be possible to run a place worse than Greece,” said Syriza spokesman Konstantos Dmitroponos.

“But you’ve got to hand it to Putin in that respect.”

“Phee-ew”, he added, shaking his head.

Reports suggest Vladimir Putin has said he’d be delighted to take Greece on the condition Germany pays off all their debts first.

“That’s what they all say,” said Angela Merkel.

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