Monday 16 February 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Next year’s X-Factor winner already dropped by Syco Records


X Factor winner dropped

The 2015 winner of the X-Factor has dramatically been dropped by Simon Cowell’s record label six months before the show’s quest to find them begins.

The winner, who will prove popular with the public after their emotional back-story is revealed during the series, will no longer be contracted to Syco to produce ‘music’.

“It was a difficult decision, but one we had to make,” said a representative for Syco.

“But we feel that our partnership with the as yet unknown artist has run its course and we wish them well for the future.”

Although the identity of the artist won’t be known until the X-Factor’s final show in December, they’re probably really happy with the direction their career has now taken, and look forward to a lifetime of singing Celine Dion songs on cruise ships.

X Factor winner dropped

X-Factor fans were pragmatic at the announcement.

“Well, it’s probably quite disappointing to know that you’ve been dropped even before you’ve been signed,” said fan Simon Williams.

“But what you’ve got to remember is that they’ll have been on an amazing journey and will have been mentored by whoever it is who’s announced to mentor them, which will have been amazing.”

The person in question will almost certainly become one of the most famous people in the country for a few weeks, before becoming really quite tiresome and then releasing an album of shitty cover versions just as everyone stops caring.

“One thing we would like to make very clear though,” said the spokesperson for Syco.

“We still get the money from that album.

“All the money.”

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