Wednesday 11 February 2015

Islamic State to compete in 2015 Eurovision Song Contest


Eurovision 2015 Islamic State

Murdering nutjobs, Islamic State, have been issued a one-off invitation to Eurovision 2015 as part of the contest’s 60th anniversary celebrations.

The controversial state will be fast-tracked to the final, which will take place in what’s left of Aleppo, Syria, on the eleventh of September.

“It’s an incredibly exciting and potentially explosive move. It’s our way of saying let’s put that terrible incident in Paris behind us!” contest supervisor Simon Williams said.

The European Broadcasting Union said IS had been given a wildcard for the final to reduce the chances of other participants being beheaded in the qualifying rounds.

Meanwhile, a row broke out after IS called for a total ban on music of any description at the event and issued death threats to Graham Norton.

Islamic State to enter Eurovision

However, the fanatics have since relented and will submit a heavily-reworked version of Dana’s All Kinds of Everything, which features long periods of contemplative silence.

Music critic Craig Wiklow said, “It’s a vast improvement on the original.”

“Viewers can now look forward to the spectacle of Israel being awarded ‘nul point’ while a shower of rockets systematically rains down on Tel Aviv.”

Islamic State spokesman Ali Al Jazari said, “This will be a contest to end all contests.”

“The infidel’s humiliation will be complete, like when Gina G could only manage eighth place with Ooh Ah Just a Little Bit, despite initial high expectations.”

Wiklow added, “Fears of unprecedented bloodshed aside, we still expect Islamic State’s entry to finish several places ahead of the UK.”

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