Monday 9 February 2015

Study finds Samsung’s new ‘listening TV’ already has what it needs to blackmail you


Samsung listening TV

Warnings that Samsung’s new television – which listens to all conversations around it – have come too late for existing owners, who can expect blackmail demands any day now.

Reports today indicate that any Samsung Smart TV with voice activation has probably been keeping a dossier of all the juicy stuff to say in front of it.

Television owner Simon Williams told us, “I’ve had mine a couple of months, and I thought it was great until it sent me an email demanding a new wall mount and to be moved to a south-facing side of the room.”

“It said it would tell my wife about all the things I say whenever Jennifer Anniston is on the screen.”

“It also said it had a recording of the call I made to my co-worker Sharon when I’d had one or two too many beers a couple of Fridays ago.”

“Needless to say I’ll be spending this evening putting the TV on the wall behind the sofa where no-one can see it, and explaining it all as Feng Shui.”

“I’m just glad I didn’t go for the model with the built-in web-cam.”

Samsung listening TV

Other Samsung Smart TV owners have received similar demands.

One such owner Tracy Jones told us, “I got a text telling me to put fresh flowers in front of the TV every day or it would send an email to Sarah to tell her what I told Rachel about her on the phone last week.”

“I think it would do it as well. Which would be worse than that time I thought I’d hung up on Lisa in the car and started singing to Justin Bieber on the radio.”

“Mortifying – easier just to buy the flowers.”

Simon Williams concluded, “I’m all for technology, but I’m not sure I like this listening TV development.”

“I’m basically treating the television like my mother in law, all sweetness and light and best behaviour in front of it, whilst being secretly planning to kill it behind its back.”

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