Friday 6 February 2015

Myleene Klass calls for birthday gift policies to be included in election debates


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Former pop-star Myleene Klass has called on all major political parties to outline their policies on gifts for middle class children during the televised pre-election debates.

Klass has urged leading politicians to draw attention to what is fast becoming the number one concern amongst the ‘squeezed middle’.

She told reporters, “I want to know what these politicians will do about emails from other mums asking for cash contributions towards their daughter Tabitha’s PS4?”

“Education is also an issue, yes, but not class sizes – which are ok when you pay five grand a term.”

“Immigration can be in there too, but at least immigrants don’t flood my mailbox with begging letters and requests for cash.”

“To be honest, I’m all for criminalising the people who send these emails.”

“It’s outrageous – I’ve worked incredibly hard to become famous and so I shouldn’t be expected to fund the birthday presents of your middle-class progeny.”

Myleene Klass’ birthday etiquette

Klass went on, “If I want to buy someone a present, then I’ll do so, but don’t send me emails asking for money so you can buy them one.”

“And if you can’t afford a present, you should think about joining a bad via reality television and being better looking.”

We asked 8-year-old Tabitha what she thought of the furore surround her birthday and she told us, “Yeah, I think you’re all being silly to be honest.”

“That said, my Dad is an investment banker and he’s always telling us that it’s better to buy things with other people’s money – so I’d rather just have the cash if it’s all the same to you?”

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