Tuesday 3 February 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Man in pub claims to have sculpted ‘Michelangelo’ Bronzes


Man in pub is michelangelo sculpter

The authenticity of two sculptures recently attributed to Michelangelo has been called into question following claims that they were actually sculpted by a bloke in the pub.

“Yeah, I did them, what of it?” Said Fat Barry from his bar-stool in the Royal Oak, Chelmsford.

“I popped in here last Tuesday lunchtime it was. Had four pints of Stella and a bag of cheese and onion, but they didn’t have the Racing on, so I thought I’d pop home and do a bit of sculpting instead.”

Fat Barry’s claims that he created the two statues of immaculately sculpted men riding panthers are set to cause uproar in the art world.

“Well, I for one would be very surprised if these two magnificent pieces were sculpted last Tuesday afternoon by this Barry person,” said art historian Simon Williams.

“Not least because we’ve known of their existence for several hundred years.”

But Fat Barry remained unmoved.

“No, I definitely did them,” he said, supping on a Stella.

“You can buy them if you like, three hundred quid each or a Monkey for the pair. I’ve also got a load of gnomes that I’ll throw in for a score a piece.”

“And don’t listen to what the old bag next door says, they’re my gnomes, right?”

The British Museum is considering Fat Barry’s offer.

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