Monday 26 January 2015 by Davywavy

Greeks vote for the Germans to pay for everything


Greece election results

In a landmark election result in Athens, the Greek people have voted overwhelmingly for the Germans to give them a colossal pile of cash.

The victorious Syriza party was elected on a platform of higher unemployment benefits, free healthcare for all and increased infrastructure spending, all of which will be generously funded from Berlin.

“This is a victory for democracy, anti-austerity, and spending a whole shitload of someone else’s money”, said a jubilant Syriza activist celebrating at the Acropolis.

“Now we’ve voted for it, it’s only a matter of time before the Deutsche Finance Ministry wises up and pays off all our debt.”

When asked what the Germans might think of this, Syriza spokesman Konstantos Dmitropolos said, “Dunno, we’ve not told them yet.”

“But we’re sure they won’t mind.”

Some economists have suggested that Greece doesn’t have any money because nobody has bothered paying any tax for the ten or fifteen years, but these concerns cut no ice amongst Greeks.

“We’ve got to get away from the old arguments about who did what and who is to blame in order to move forward with our exciting plans”, said Dmitropolos said.

“But if it doesn’t work it’ll all be Angela Merkel’s fault.”

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