Monday 26 January 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Concern as Tories welcome defecting Dark Lord of the Sith


Sith lord tory defection

Grass-roots Conservatives have expressed concern after a high-profile Dark Lord of the Sith defecting from the Empire, according to reports this morning.

“Well, I wasn’t happy about Amjad Bashir coming in from UKIP,” said activist Chris Paul.

“But now, a Dark Lord of the Sith? It’s bad enough having George Osborne.”

“It’s just, getting people in from UKIP or the Empire; I’m starting to worry that people might think we’re the nasty party.”

The Dark Lord of the Sith announced his defection from the Empire on Andrew Marr’s Today programme where he delivered a stinging attack on the state of the Empire.

“Frankly, the Empire’s been in disarray since Darth Vader left,” he said from under a blood-red cowl.

“Some of the Dark Lords are even talking about listening to the people, so I wanted to come to a party that took power, fear and control seriously.”

Whilst there has been some disquiet amongst the party faithful, other party members were more philosophical about the defection.

As one explained, “Well, I’m prepared to give him a chance.”

“I mean, I’ve heard he blew up a planet once and I, for one, admire that sort of tough decision-making.”

It is thought that Bashir and the Dark Lord’s arrival in the Tory ranks will trigger a series of high-profile defections including Robert Mugabe, Gary Glitter and Jaws.

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