Tuesday 20 January 2015

5 year-old party attendees forced to submit timesheets


Children's party invoice

Party goers at Julie Lawrence’s son’s birthday party have been told to submit timesheets to ensure they spent the requisite amount of time enjoying themselves.

The move comes after one absent child was invoiced £15.95 for failing to submit any timesheets or to clock-in or out of the party itself.

Mrs Lawrence told reporters, “We all want the children to have fun, obviously, but that fun should be quantified, measured, and ultimately tracked in a system which generates invoices and remittances when necessary.”

“Clocking in machines are not cheap, so the least the parents can do is make sure their children use them.”

“I’ve spent hours on this party, what with balloons, party food and setting up appropriate cost centres against which to accrue all charges – it’s only right that the other parents and kids stick to the rules I’ve put in place.”

“Look at young Simon Williams for example, he arrived early, got excited, then wet himself.  His timesheet barely has 30 minutes on it, and as such his parents will be invoiced nine pounds fifty.”

Party invoice

Parents have welcomed the children’s party regime put in place by Mrs Lawrence.

Simon Williams fathers, Dave told us, “I think it’s a good life lesson for the kids – that the world is full of horrible bureaucratic shits and sometimes you have to play their game.”

“But I suppose I would have liked for my kids to maybe reach the age of 10 before realising this.”

“No, of course I won’t be paying the invoice, don’t be absurd.”

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