Tuesday 13 January 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Entire Celebrity Big Brother cast potential UKIP candidates, claims Farage


UKIP Big Brother contestants

Nigel Farage has revealed that he is considering all contestants in this year’s Celebrity Big Brother as potential Parliamentary candidates for UKIP.

Despite criticism of the behaviour of some in the house, UKIP are keen to explore the possibility of working with the contestants when the show is over.

“Well, we’re always on the lookout for folk who truly espouse the UKIP philosophy,” said the UKIP leader.

“Ken Morely has a tremendous personality, he’s funny, honest and plain spoken… and being a drunken racist never held anyone back at UKIP.”

The ex-Coronation Street actor was recently removed from Big Brother for using racially offensive language, whilst fellow contestant Jeremy Jackson was removed a few days earlier for sexual assault.

“It’s a shame that he’s American. Another chap who enjoys a drink. And that wheeze with the filly’s dressing gown? Hilarious!”

“We may not be able to have him stand for Parliament, but he’s certainly welcome to next year’s UKIP Christmas party.”

Other contestants include Patsy Kensit, Katie Hopkins and Keith Chegwin.

“Yes, I mean obviously, everyone hates Katie Hopkins already, so there’s little character manipulation to be done there.”

“And we’ve had our eye on Cheggers for a long time now. Has-been seventies TV star? It just screams UKIP, doesn’t it?”

Mr Farage was keen on other contestants as well.

“Well all of the others seem to have big tits. So, we’d definitely welcome them to UKIP.”

In fact, the only Celebrity Big Brother contestant Mr Farage wouldn’t consider was Alexander O’Neil

“No. I mean, we’re a pretty diverse bunch at UKIP, but you’ve got to draw the line somewhere.”

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