Friday 9 January 2015 by Neil Tollfree

David Cameron insists pre-election debates must include ‘a bake-off’


David Cameron leader debates

Prime Minister David Cameron has refused to take part in any potential pre-election leaders debates unless their format includes some form of bake-off.

“It’s not that I’m not in favour of TV debates,” said Mr Cameron yesterday.

“But I don’t think it’s fair that they go ahead without giving the public a chance to really understand the party leaders’ baking skills.”

There has been speculation that Mr Cameron has been working on his piping in anticipation of a televised Electoral bake-off and has recently developed a spectacular Victoria Sponge.

Labour Leader Ed Miliband was exasperated.

“If it’s not one thing it’s the other,” he said.

“First it was a demand to include the Greens, then to have a general knowledge round, then a swimsuit parade.”

“I thought the request for a Strictly-style dance-off was the last straw, but this beggars belief.”

Leaders debate

Daily Mail readers were enthusiastic.

“Ooo, I do love a bake-off,” said idiot Simon Williams.

“Provided that Mr Cameron remembers to have a go at the foreigners and the gays, I’m all in favour of it.”

Some commentators have suggested that Mr Cameron’s request for a bake-off merely underlines his reluctance to take part in the debates.

“Nothing could be further from the truth,” he said.

“I absolutely love the televised debates.”

“I just think they’d be better if we did them on our own in a secret location known only to me with no cameras and only last two and a half minutes.”

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