Wednesday 7 January 2015

Bill Gates successfully creates drinkable water from Justin Bieber albums


Bill Gates water out of excrement

Microsoft founder and philanthropist Bill Gates has given hope to drought affected areas by creating drinking water out of total shit, including the Justin Bieber back catalogue.

Creating drinking water out of excrement has long been an aim for those trying to improve the lives of people in Africa and other drought affected areas, and this new process may hold the key.

Gates told reporters, “Years have research have gone into this, but as you can see, you simply fill the hopper with Justin Bieber albums and CD singles, and out the other end comes delicious drinking water.”

“It’s not tainted in any way by the Canadian arsehole, and is actually quite delicious.”

“I hope that in the coming months we will see millions of Justin Bieber albums converted into drinking water for those genuinely in need.”

Turning shit into drinking water

The researchers working on the new device say they have also seen decent returns after filling the machine with albums from Olly Murs and One Direction.

Lead researchers Simon Williams told us, “We’re almost at a point where we might finally be able to say that anything created by the X Factor does have some value in the world.”

“We’ve just got to feed it into our machine first.”

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