Tuesday 6 January 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Disappearance of UKIP website ’caused by immigrants’


UKIP website down

Current problems preventing visitors from accessing the UKIP website at www.UKIP.org are thought to be caused by immigrants.

“I don’t know a great deal about the internet,” said leader Nigel Farage.

“But it seems clear to me that if the Government had a greater control over immigration in this country then perhaps we wouldn’t have this problem with our website.”

Mr Farage refuted suggestions that they simply hadn’t paid for the renewal of their domain name.

“No, and it’s just typical of the London metropolitan cabal of the political elite to suggest such a thing.”

“Speaking as a member of the European Parliament for fifteen years, I would never try to get something for nothing.”

UKIP website down

UKIP’s supporters were bereft at the lack of access to the website.

“I don’t know what to do with myself,” said UKIP supporter Simon Williams.

“I log on every morning to see who I should be hating most that day, and so I’m a bit baffled this morning.”

“If it goes on any longer, I may start becoming tolerant of people who are a bit different to me. God knows what’ll happen then!”

UKIP deputy leader Paul Nuttall was left in physical pain by the problem.

“Yes, well, I did my best to fix the issue by banging me head repeatedly against the keyboard but as yet it hasn’t worked.”

When told that it was almost definitely not immigrants who caused the problems with the website, Mr Nuttall had another theory.

“Ah, I see,” he told us, “It’s probably the gays then.”

I think, therefore I am (not a UKIP voter)

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