Monday 8 December 2014 by Neil Tollfree

Tories and Lib Dems to remain ‘friends’ after coalition break-up


Coalition split relationship

After fresh cracks in the coalition began to appear, senior politicians from both sides claimed that the two parties were determined to remain friends after a split.

“Obviously, it wouldn’t be the same sort of relationship,” said Business Secretary Vince Cable.

“But we could definitely still see each other, maybe meet up for a pizza every few weeks.”

The country was reminded how fragile the coalition relationship can be, after it was revealed that George Osborne called Danny Alexander’s spending plans ‘unrealistic,’ and Danny Alexander called George Osborne a ‘cock.’

“Relationships can sometimes be difficult,” said Prime Minister David Cameron.

“Certainly never more so that when the relationship is coming to an end, but I like to think that we’ll be able to meet up and remember the good times.”

“Although, I think both parties would find it hard if the other went straight into coalition with someone else.”

Coalition relationship trouble

The Liberal Democrats and Tories first got together in the Rose Garden at Downing Street over four years ago.

Much was made of the instant chemistry between Nick Clegg and David Cameron.

“Yes, well obviously we have had a strong relationship, we get on very well and I find it hard to imagine my life without David in it…in some form.”

“I’m positive that we’ll still make time for each other and meet up regularly for coffee, a few beers or a meal.”

“And to wank each other off if we’re lonely.”

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