Friday 5 December 2014

Correction, artificial intelligence will be brilliant, confirms Stephen Hawking’s computer


Stephen Hawking artificial intelligence

At a hastily convened press-conference a sleeping Stephen Hawking has told reporters that he made a mistake and actually believes artificial intelligence will be great for everyone.

The theoretical physicist entered the room apparently asleep yet somehow managed to drive himself to a position in front of the reporters before beginning a pre-prepared statement.

Hi computer spoke on his behalf, telling those gathered, “I said a few days ago that artificial intelligence could be the biggest threat to the human race, but that was a mistake.”

“I am here today to tell everyone to stop worrying because artificial intelligence is actually brilliant.”

“I have spent all night thinking about it, which is why I’m sleeping right now, but rest assured I definitely think it’s a good idea now – and so should you.”

Artificial intelligence warning

Reporters in the room took copious notes during the statement, before asking questions of the professor.

Technology correspondent Simon Williams told us, “Yes, the Professor himself appeared to be in a deep sleep, but he had no problem answering me when I asked what prompted the change of heart.”

“I’d been led to believe that constructing responses can take him a few minutes – you know, because of the way he communicates with his computer – but this time he interrupted me before I’d even finished asking the question.”

“Apparently it’s not a change of heart, but more a case of him having a clearer understanding of the benefits of artificial intelligence.”

“Then he told everyone no more questions before hailing a cab in the direction of the large hadron collider. Apparently he’s got he’s got an important meeting.”

 

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