Wednesday 3 December 2014 by Chris Anthemum

Saudi ambassador admits shock over ‘prudish’ UK porn laws


UK Porn Reform

The Saudi Arabian ambassador to the UK has expressed his shock at new laws restricting UK-produced pornography.

The Audiovisual Media Services Regulations 2014 came into force on 1st December, banning the depiction of female ejaculation and face sitting, along with most kinds of bondage, spanking, urination and choking.

The Saudi emissary praised some of the new regulations, but felt that others might be considered slightly over the top, even in his own country:

“Don’t get me wrong, I am as disgusted as you are by the idea that women might actually enjoy certain sexual practices, and I am very glad that things like female ejaculation are now banned in UK porn”, said Mustafa Handshandi, from his embassy.

“However, I am slightly concerned that the UK has taken such a strong line against whipping.”

“We are very big on whipping in Saudi Arabia, provided it is not between consenting adults, of course.”

“We feel the new regulations could have clarified that whipping is only wrong when people are – how you say – getting off on it?”

UK porn ban

His Excellency, Mr Handshandi, continued “I am also puzzled about the reason for the ban on face sitting, as your regulator says it is ‘life-threatening’.

“In fact we experimented with female face sitting as a method of execution in my country a few years ago, but it was found to be ineffective.”

“Many women volunteered as executioners, but both they and the condemned men enjoyed it far too much, so we had to stop it.”

The UK regulator, ATVOD, declined to comment.

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