Thursday 20 November 2014 by Juliet Brando

ISIS leader endorses UKIP candidate


UKIP get backing from ISIS

As the Rochester and Strood by-election campaign reaches its final stages, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi has waded into the debate, giving his organisation’s full support to UKIP’s Mark Reckless.

“Someone has to stand up to the PC Brigade,” al-Bagdadi told the Telegraph on Tuesday.

“We can’t have all these feminazis and lefty ponces telling everyone what to do!”

Relaxing at his second home in Mosul, Northern Iraq, the self-appointed Caliph revealed that he has admired the far-right political party since David Silvester’s proclamations on homosexuality in January.

The UKIP councillor for Henley-on-Thames claimed that equal marriage, not climate change, was responsible for last winter’s flooding.

“I’ve watched all those Farage videos on the internet too,” explained al-Bagdadi enthusiastically, dressed in tweed trousers and a golf jumper.

“I’m no fan of the beer myself, but I’m all for UKIP’s stance on capital punishment and guns! The more of both, the better, I say! Bloody health and safety! This world is going to hell in a handcart!”

“It should be no surprise we also ended up with a name that’s a four-letter acronym where the first two letters are the nation we’re trying to ‘protect’ – you might even call it an ‘homage’.”

UKIP endorsement

ISIS has become infamous over its hard-line opposition to multiculturalism, having been accused of genocide against Christians and other minority religious groups across Iraq and Syria.

“We’re not racist,” al-Bagdadi scoffed. “Anyway, Christianity isn’t a race.”

He was keen to point out that ISIS remains inclusive, accepting migrants from the UK and around the world, and that it only massacres communities that refuse to assimilate.

“What Reckless said this week about immigration went a bit far,” the ISIS leader sighed.

“I’m glad the party told him off for that. We can’t have everyone thinking we’re nutters!”

The extremist group has not yet commented on the news that ISIS supports its Rochester candidate.

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