Monday 10 November 2014

E-cigarette advert to try unusual tactic of using ‘sex’ as sales tool


e-cigarette advert watershed

A new advert for e-cigarettes must be shown after the 9pm watershed after innovative advertising executives decided to try using ‘sex’ to sell their product.

The new approach is set to revolutionise the advertising industry should consumers successfully draw a parallel between the e-cigarette brand and ‘sex’.

Advertising executive Simon Williams told us, “In between bouts of dog fighting and spitting at homeless people we have conducted research that suggests people might buy things if it leads to more sex.”

“It’s a maverick move, we know, but we like to think we’re outside the box thinkers here – which is why our office is in an old warehouse in Shoreditch and all the walls are bare brick.”

“We felt that putting the e-cigarette in the hands of a sexy woman would make men want to have her, and women want to be her. You can quote us on that.”

“When she puts it in her mouth, our focus groups show that some people will mentally picture scenes of oral sex. Honestly, it’s proven by science and everything.”

“Next time they see the product, they’ll think, ‘Hey, that sexy bird had that e-cigarette so maybe if I buy it I will get to have sex with her, someone like her’. That’s the theory, anyway.”

“And if they do, we think this could be massive for us – we have a whole portfolio of ideas involving attractive women using products and looking sexy.”

“They could be everywhere.”

e-cigarette advert after the watershed

Consumer Dave Smith said that nothing could possible make the users of e-cigarettes cool, even sexy ladies.

He explained, “E-cigarettes simply make you look like a twat who doesn’t have the balls to smoke properly, or the willpower to stop properly.”

“You’re literally despised by both sides of the argument.”

“Now make a bloody advert out of that, I dare you.”

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